Real Weddings: Anita and Maurice - May 26, 2012

It was a beautiful day on Clearwater Beach…the first day of the Memorial Day holiday weekend.   And  it was a great way to for Anita and Maurice (Mo) to start their new lives together.  Family and friends traveled from across the country to share in their special day. 

The intimate guest list gathered on the Starlite Majesty Cruise ship for the 12:00pm ceremony.  Immediately following, we set sail into the Intercoastal Waterway, and were treated to breathtaking views of Clearwater Beach. 

The bride desired a simple and meaningful day, and that is exactly what she received! The bright yellow colors in her flowers, centerpieces and linen were perfect for the occasion and the season.    Their guest book and cake, complete with sea shells, set the tone for their nautical nuptials.  And the guests raved over the homemade cookies made (with love) by the bride’s mom. 

I’ve never had a groom rave so much about wedding planning, but Mo was really pleased with our services and sees the value of hiring a wedding coordinator!

All photos courtesy of Rachel O'Brien Photography.

Many thanks to Brides N Blooms (flowers), Starlite Majesty (venue and catering), Rachel O’Brien Photography, Ronay’s Designs (linen) and Publix Bakery (cake) for such great service!

Five Tips for Improving Communication With Your Fiance': It's Not That Hard!

It been said that men and women are from two different planets, particularly in the ways we communicate. Men tend to be more matter-of-fact and are concerned about 'what' (i.e., what do you need me to do?), while women tend to be more sensitive and are concerned about 'how' (i.e., how do you feel?). These are generalizations, of course, but how do two people who come from two different perspectives mesh when it comes to communication? These 5 tips are based on my own experiences as a wife and my observations in working with engaged couples. Whether you're married or engaged to be married, the concepts are applicable to you! 

Start with the right attitude

And what is the right attitude, you may ask? What if you need to have a conversation with your fiance' to try to resolve a disagreement, or to let him know how you feel about a particular issue. Before you begin, try to calm whatever negative feelings you may have. If you are mad, the last thing you need to do is start speaking with anger in your voice and showing it in your demeanor. If you have been crying, try to calm yourself down before you speak. Your sadness or anger will get in the way of the other party hearing what you have to say!

Have an open mind

As your fiance' is talking to you, be open to what he has to say. Keep in mind that you are not a mind reader, so you need to be receptive to what is being said. Don't pre-judge the conversation and try to predict what he will say...he may surprise you!

Really listen to your fiance'

I'm sure you've heard this before....we have 2 ears and one mouth for a reason! When I say 'listen' I'm not just referring to the physical act of using the sense of hearing. I mean both hearing and absorbing what is being said. Along with listening to his words, also take in his tone of voice and body language. This will help you get the true meaning of what he's trying to communicate. And, please do not start planning your response before he stops talking! How can you respond accurately when you are trying to get your words together before he's finished?

Keep your conversation with your fiance' confidential

Your fiance' needs to be able to trust that what he shares with you will not be repeated (unless he gives you the ok to do so). Your mother, his mother, or your best friend are not parties in the conversation, and should not brought in after the fact. The relationship you have with your future husband is yours alone, and there is no room for meddlers and busy bodies!

Give and show respect

All men want to be respected. Show your fiance' that you respect his opinion and thoughts, even if you don't agree with them. Don't say things like 'that's dumb' or 'that doesn't make any sense' or 'are you crazy' when responding to him. This is sure fire way to shut down the lines of communication, that can be sometimes hard to rebuild.

Your Planning Assignment

Put these tips into practice! They will go a long way to ensure the lines of communication between you and your future husband remain open, and will help you have a healthy relationship. If you have issues in this area, seek out the advice of a professional therapist or counselor.

What Does a Day-of Coordinator Really Do?

The team “Day-of Coordination” can be a somewhat misleading.   Several brides who have reached out to us are looking for someone to just “pull it all together.” But a wedding coordinator does far more than show up on the day of your wedding, review what’s in your wedding binder, and make things happen!  He or she gets involved weeks and months before your wedding and has a checklist of several things to do BEFORE your big day.  Some of these tasks include:

• Meet with you to understand the vision you have for your wedding - you have been working on your wedding for months and months, so your coordinator needs to have a full understanding of your thoughts and ideas
• Review all of your contracts – this will tell your coordinator exactly what your vendors will provide, when final payments are due, etc.
• Contact and meet with all of your vendors to confirm the specifics of your wedding
• Put together a wedding day timeline to ensure the smooth flow of your wedding day – this timeline is very extensive and includes specifics like what time your hair and makeup will start (and how long it will take), any travel time between venues, and what time your venues will be available for setup.
• Visit your ceremony and reception venues to confirm the layout of the space and the setup you require – the day of your wedding is not the first time your coordinator has seen your venues!
• Meet with the wedding officiant to review the ceremony and prepare to conduct the wedding rehearsal – Some wedding officiants like to run the rehearsal completely themselves, while others will work alongside the wedding coordinator to do it.  Either way, your coordinator and officiant work this out well before you arrive at the rehearsal.
• Learn the names of the important people in your family and bridal party, and be familiar with any specific family dynamics – If there are particular family situations that can affect your day, your wedding coordinator needs to be fully aware of them.  For example, when the bridal party is introduced, your coordinator needs to know if your divorced parents will enter the reception together or with with someone else (if they have remarried).

And of course, on your wedding day, your coordinator and his or her staff will:

• Ensure your venues are set up correctly
• Confirm your vendors are ready for an on-time start
• Resolve any issues that may arise
• Make sure you and your bridal party are dressed and ready on time
• Direct the flow of their entire day (ceremony and reception)
• Assist in seating guests and making them feel at home
• Make sure all the little details are handled (cake knives on the cake table, bride’s comfortable shoes under the sweetheart table, etc).

This is just a general idea of what many planners and coordinators will provide with this kind of wedding package.  Share with him or her if you require more so that your exact needs can be met.

Hiring a day-of coordinator really is an investment in your wedding.  You have spent countless hours planning, deciding, arranging, and choosing; who should you trust to make sure all of your plans, decisions, arrangements, and choices are carried out the way you desire them to?  Your mother or maid-of-honor may have with you throughout the entire planning process, but as your wedding approaches, it’s time for them to really step into the roles they are called to be.  Your mother has been anticipating your special day, as well as her moment in the spotlight, for quite some time, and the last thing she needs to be concerned with is “who’s going to set up the room?”or “what time are the flowers being delivered?”  And your maid-of-honor should be focused on making sure you are calm and collected, and ready to walk down the aisle!

 

Your Planning Assignment

Seriously consider this vital role in your wedding.  A day-of coordinator can give you peace of mind and comfort knowing your plans are in the hands of a seasoned expert.  Trust this responsibility to an experienced professional!

Stacey and David's Wedding - 9-10-11

The Grand Plaza Florida on St. Pete Beach was the perfect setting for the wedding of Stacey and David on 9-10-11. Although their wedding date was a popular one this year, this wedding was full of unique elements to make it a very special day, not only for Stacey and David, but also for their guests, who traveled from across the country to witness their nuptials.

The beach ceremony began at 10am, with guests enjoying the warm breezes of the Gulf of Mexico and harp music provided by Jessica Cardwell. The bride thought of everything, and provided flip-flops for guests to slip into and cold water for them to drink as they entered the beach. The bridal party was appropriately dressed, with the gentlemen attired in linen (including custom made shirts by Ya-Ya’s Little Secret), and ladies wearing sunshine yellow one-shouldered short dresses perfect for the beach.

Following a moving ceremony, guests were escorted to the Presidential Ballroom for light appetizers and drinks, including the bride and groom’s signature drink – frozen Blue Hawaiian. Tables were named after beaches the couple has visited or plans to visit, including Ft. De Soto Beach, Vero Beach, and Clearwater Beach.

The afternoon rain did not dampen the spirits of the newlyweds or their guests. Guests enjoyed their choice of main entrée, followed by wedding cake provided by A Piece of Cake. The groom’s cake highlighted his love for the game of chess. Following a sumptuous meal, guests then danced the afternoon away with entertainment by DJ Ron of Universal Music Entertainment (in fact, there is a pair of shoes that, as of this writing, still has not been claimed by a wedding guest!)

In addition to the partners listed above, many thanks to Streets and Streets Photography and Video Productions, Patrick Burley Photography, Nicole White Photography,  makeup artist Lorretta Taylor, and Jonathan’s Flowers for helping make Stacey and David’s wedding day one they will cherish for a lifetime.

What Qualities Should I Look For In A Wedding Planner?

The task of choosing a wedding planner is not one that should be taken lightly. The person you hire will be a part of your life for quite some time (a year or more in some cases), so it’s important that you take your time in making this very important decision. As you consider a planner, what qualities should you look for?


Passion
When a person loves what he or she does, it shows! Your wedding planner should show enthusiasm about working with you and planning your special day. Don’t get me wrong, wedding planners have bad days just like everyone else, but their overall mood should be one of heartfelt excitement about what they are doing!

Knowledge
What is passion without knowledge? Your wedding planner must know what know what he or she is doing, and must be able to articulate that knowledge to you. If you have a question, your planner should be able to answer it or get an answer for you. Beware of those who don’t take the time to answer your questions or are condescending when they do answer! Also, a wedding planner should use his or her knowledge and experience to plan for certain risks. For example, if a bride wants an outdoor wedding, a wedding planner should immediately suggest having a ‘Plan B’ in case of inclement weather.

Open-Mindedness and Flexibility
This is your wedding day, not the planner’s! Your wedding planner should be open to your ideas and help you make them come to fruition. If the planner sees that a particular idea may not work for a particular situation, or can suggest another way to do it, he or she will do so. But the planner should never impose his or her own will on yours!

Trustworthiness
Trust is built over time, and should be displayed in the fact that your wedding planner is a person of his or her word. He or she follows up as promised, and should let you know if there will be a delay in responding or answering your questions. He or she should return calls and emails in a timely manner (don’t forget that planners have lives too, so please be reasonable in your expectations). The responsiveness continues well beyond after you signed the contract and throughout the life of your working relationship.

Detail-Oriented

Having many years of project management experience, I can tell you that a wedding is a project, with lots of details that must all come together to make a beautiful occasion. Your wedding planner must be a detail-oriented person to ensure nothing is missed.

Kindness

I’ve listed this quality last, but it is certainly not least! Your wedding planner should be a kind person who cares about you. As I stated earlier, this person is in your life for a period of time, so they should genuinely want to ensure you have a beautiful wedding day. You should be treated like an individual, not just another paying client. When a planner stops caring about the couples he or she is working with, it’s time to close up shop!

Your Planning Assignment

As you consider hiring a wedding planner, ponder these characteristics. They will help you find the person who’s just right for you. Happy Planning!

Disney Fairy Tale Weddings by Alfred Angelo

Do you love all things Disney? Do you especially love the Disney Princesses?  If so, you will adore the new line of bridal gowns called "Disney Fairy Tale Weddings" by Alfred Angelo.  These dresses will hit the stores in early 2011.  Check out this preview!

Introducing New Free Resources

Good day bloggers!  An Elegant Affair is excited to announce that, for visiting our website, we are now offering brides one of THREE complimentary resources!  They include:

"Help! I Just Got Engaged! Ten Tips for Getting Started with Wedding Planning"

"Top Five Wedding Planning Problems, and How a Wedding Planner Can Help Solve Them"

"Five Things to Consider When Planning a Beach Wedding"

Along with the free resource of your choice, you will also receive a complimentary subscription to our high-content, bi-weekly e-zine, filled with great wedding planning tips and ideas.

Visit http://www.an-elegant-affair.net/ for your free gift today!