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Thursday, March 17, 2011

I Need Help Choosing My Bridal Party!

Family members and friends who are chosen to be a part of your bridal party should consider it an honor! At the same time, those you choose should be special to you in some way (e.g., friend from the 1st grade, sister, fraternity brother, etc.) Don’t take making the decision of who will stand with you lightly!

Characteristics to Consider
I believe all members of your bridal party should display these characteristics. The last thing you want to have to worry about is someone who is not:

Trustworthy – You are putting faith in people, in the hopes that they will be there for you! Don’t choose someone whose word you know is not good for anything!

Reliable – Is your cousin always late? Is your fraternity brother the type of person who changes his mind in an instant? You want to select people who are reliable, will show up when and where they need to, and will do what they said they would do.

Fun – Weddings are fun, and members of your bridal party should be fun as well. I’m not saying that each person must be the life of the party, but they should want to have a good time to celebrate your new life! Don’t pick someone who’s a killjoy!

Share in your happiness – Sometimes our friends and loved ones who are not married or not in a relationship may feel a bit of jealousy toward you. Don’t choose someone who’s a ‘hater’ and can’t share in your happiness.

Money and Bridal Party Members
Let’s be honest here…..it can be a bit expensive to be in a wedding, since bridal party members are responsible for their attire and transportation/lodging to the wedding. If you know someone is not working or may not have the means to handle these costs, don’t ask them to be a part of your wedding. If you do ask them, they may say yes, but then leave you in a lurch at the last minute (I’ve seen this happen TOO MANY times!) If you insist on having them as a part of your wedding, keep in mind that you may end up footing the bill for them (and this will need to be included in your wedding budget). The choice is yours….just be knowledgeable about the choice you are making!

I was in her wedding, should I ask her to be in mine?
Because you were in someone else’s wedding, it doesn’t automatically mean the previous bride must be in yours. Maybe you and your fiancĂ© have agreed to include only siblings, or you’ve decided to keep your bridal party small. Whatever your reasoning, you shouldn’t feel obligated to include someone because they included you.

What if my relationship with someone has changed?
You may have been close to someone a few years ago, but for whatever reason, you are not as close as you once were. Relationships can change over time and distance, and let’s face it, people can change too! You may have other friends who are now closer to you than she is. If you and your friend promised to be in each other’s weddings back in the first grade, but your friendship has transitioned, don’t feel obligated to include her in your bridal party. In this case, one option is to ask her to do something else for you (i.e., hostess, gift collector, etc).

Your Planning Assignment
The decision on who to include in your bridal party is yours! Don’t feel pressured to include people you don’t want, and stick by your decision. It’s your choice and your day! Happy Planning!

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