What about planning your wedding is driving you crazy? Or what about weddings in general really gets under your skin? Here’s my list of pet peeves (we may have some of these in common). Along with sharing those things that drive me crazy, I want to also share how you can deal with these issues if they arise. And please, let me hear from you! What are some of your wedidng pet peeves??
Late RSVPs
Late RSVPs
You have carefully set your RSVP deadline, giving your guests sufficient time to respond. If you see your responses are coming in slowly, send a friendly email reminder of the upcoming deadline. Or, if you have a wedding website, post an update there, reminding people of the due date. If a person responds after the deadline, determine how you will handle this up front! If you still have room to accommodate more guests, determine how many more, and once you’ve met your final number, tell your late guests “I’m sorry, the deadline has passed.” Be nice, but firm. Don’t let a guest press you into you giving in and allowing them to come. After all, you have set a maximum number of guests for a reason!
People who RSVP more people than were invited
You have invited Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and they decide to invite another couple to your wedding! How rude! To try to avoid this upfront, clearly state on the outer and inner envelopes of your invitations who are the persons invited. Also, word your response card so that people cannot add additional numbers or names to it. NEVER include a line that says “Number of Guests” on your response card (unless you fill in that number ahead of time!)
Invitations that ask for money
In my opinion, this is one of the tackiest things a couple can do! When you ask guests to give you money as a wedding gift, it implies that all you want out of your guests is cash! I’ve received a few invites like this, and instead of giving them money, I just don’t attend! In some instances, they may have received money from me anyway, but being asked for money totally turns me off! While you share your gift preferences via a registry, you should never dictate to your guests what they should give you.
Registries that have items that are too expensive
This is related to the previous pet peeve. You’ve registered at one of the most expensive department stores around, and all of your gift choices are pricey! Guests on a budget may not be able to give you a gift if all of your registry items are too expensive. Choose items in a wide range of prices. I also suggest you have multiple registries…one of which is at a more economical store (Target and Wal Mart are great examples!)
Receptions that start hours after the ceremony
Your wedding starts at 12pm, but you’ve decided to have an evening reception (6pm). What are your guests, particularly your out-of-town guests, going to do for 5 hours? Be considerate of your guests when determining your start times. Even for guests who live in town, it’s a bit much to ask them to go home after the ceremony and come back out for your reception (you will lose people that way)! Try to start your reception as close to the end time of your wedding as possible, so that one flows easily into the other.
Having nothing for guests to do while you take post-ceremony pictures
This is closely related to the item above. While you are taking your post-ceremony pics, your guests need something to do! The cocktail hour is a great way to keep them entertained. There should be something for guests to eat and drink at the cocktail hour. They should also have music (either piped in or live) to add to the ambiance of the wait time. If done correctly, guests will enjoy themselves so much, they won’t realize they are waiting for you to finish taking pictures!
People who pressure the bride or groom for an invitation
You have determined how many people you can invite upfront (based on your budget and the size of your venue), so you’re just not able to invite everyone you would like to. Isn’t it bold of a guest to ask for an invite to your wedding? If someone is brazen enough to do this, be polite but firm. Explain that you must stay within your budget, so you are unable to invite them. Thank them for their well wishes and move on! People who really care about you will understand and will not be mad!
People who RSVP more people than were invited
You have invited Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and they decide to invite another couple to your wedding! How rude! To try to avoid this upfront, clearly state on the outer and inner envelopes of your invitations who are the persons invited. Also, word your response card so that people cannot add additional numbers or names to it. NEVER include a line that says “Number of Guests” on your response card (unless you fill in that number ahead of time!)
Invitations that ask for money
In my opinion, this is one of the tackiest things a couple can do! When you ask guests to give you money as a wedding gift, it implies that all you want out of your guests is cash! I’ve received a few invites like this, and instead of giving them money, I just don’t attend! In some instances, they may have received money from me anyway, but being asked for money totally turns me off! While you share your gift preferences via a registry, you should never dictate to your guests what they should give you.
Registries that have items that are too expensive
This is related to the previous pet peeve. You’ve registered at one of the most expensive department stores around, and all of your gift choices are pricey! Guests on a budget may not be able to give you a gift if all of your registry items are too expensive. Choose items in a wide range of prices. I also suggest you have multiple registries…one of which is at a more economical store (Target and Wal Mart are great examples!)
Receptions that start hours after the ceremony
Your wedding starts at 12pm, but you’ve decided to have an evening reception (6pm). What are your guests, particularly your out-of-town guests, going to do for 5 hours? Be considerate of your guests when determining your start times. Even for guests who live in town, it’s a bit much to ask them to go home after the ceremony and come back out for your reception (you will lose people that way)! Try to start your reception as close to the end time of your wedding as possible, so that one flows easily into the other.
Having nothing for guests to do while you take post-ceremony pictures
This is closely related to the item above. While you are taking your post-ceremony pics, your guests need something to do! The cocktail hour is a great way to keep them entertained. There should be something for guests to eat and drink at the cocktail hour. They should also have music (either piped in or live) to add to the ambiance of the wait time. If done correctly, guests will enjoy themselves so much, they won’t realize they are waiting for you to finish taking pictures!
People who pressure the bride or groom for an invitation
You have determined how many people you can invite upfront (based on your budget and the size of your venue), so you’re just not able to invite everyone you would like to. Isn’t it bold of a guest to ask for an invite to your wedding? If someone is brazen enough to do this, be polite but firm. Explain that you must stay within your budget, so you are unable to invite them. Thank them for their well wishes and move on! People who really care about you will understand and will not be mad!
Don’t let the above mentioned items drive you crazy! Instead, use the tips we’ve shared to help deal with them. Happy Planning!
Posts
To piggyback on #2: Couples who receive an invitation addresses to "Mr & Mrs Smith" and assume that means they can bring their children. When my daughter got married, we had a couple RSVP for 4 (they added their children) when only 2 were invited to the adults-only wedding. I was put in the awkward position of having to call them up and uninvite their children.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post. May I use it as a guest post on my blog?
Hi Maureen, absolutely! I would be honored for you to include this in your blog!
ReplyDeleteWeddings and Receptions that start LATE!
ReplyDelete